Fifteen Questions to Ask on Thanksgiving

Me with my mother and grandmother on Thanksgiving, 2002

The benefit of becoming interested in genealogy as a young person is that some of your older relatives may still be alive and able to share information about their ancestors. By the time most people get around to working on their family tree, they’ve lost the relatives who could easily answer their questions. I was lucky in this respect, because I became interested in genealogy early and had the opportunity to talk with my grandparents about their experiences and extended family. I was able to record some of their stories for posterity, and will forever be grateful for the things I learned from them.

The year before he died, I sat down with my paternal grandfather, David Austin Lacey, and asked him about his military service in World War II. I had taken a trip to Hawaii, toured Pearl Harbor, and realized I didn't know anything about my own grandfather's service in the U.S. Navy. I’m very glad I took the initiative to ask him some questions after that trip. I learned about my grandfather's service in the South Pacific, the challenges his crew faced, and the typhoon that sunk his ship. I only wish that I had also asked him this simple question: “What was your father like?” My paternal great-grandfather, Thomas Lacey, is an enigma to me. I know where he was born, how he got from Ireland to America, and where his home was located, but I do not know anything about his personality, his hobbies, or how he lived day-to-day. It is these sorts of things that make distant ancestors real people in one’s imagination, and not just names on a page. If I could go back in time, I would ask my grandfather about his dad, and I would write it all down.

Even if you are not interested in your family history now, you may be some day in the future. Or, your children may be curious. I highly encourage you to take a little time and sit down with an elderly relative. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to do this! If there are older relatives at your Thanksgiving table, sit next to them. Ask them about their parents and grandparents. Ask them about their childhood. They will love sharing their stories, and you will have great information to pass on someday in the future. Here is a list of fifteen questions to get you started, but once you begin this conversation, I guarantee that you’ll find you have many more.

1. What were the names of your parents and grandparents? 
2. Where were your parents and grandparents born? 
3. Who is the oldest relative you can remember meeting? Can you share a story about them? 
4. Do you know when and how your ancestors came to America? 
5. What did your parents and grandparents do for a living? 
6. Can you describe the personalities of your parents and grandparents? Do you have any favorite memories of them to share? 
7. Did your parents and grandparents have any special hobbies or interests? 
8. Did your parents or grandparents serve in the military? If so, when and where? 
9. Tell me about your siblings and cousins. Were you especially close to any of them? 
10. Can you remember any world events that had a particular impact on your family during your childhood? 
11. How did you meet your spouse, and can you recount some special stories from your courtship and married life? 
12. Where did you go to school and what did you study? How about your parents? 
13. How did your family celebrate holidays? Did you have any favorite traditions? 
14. What accomplishments in your life are you the most proud of, and why? 
15. Do you have any family heirlooms or memorabilia that are special to you? Can you share any family photos with me?

Tombstone Tuesday: Julia and George Rutherfurd

 This tombstone at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City, California is the grave marker for my great-grandmother, Julia Ellen Barrett Rutherfurd. Not listed on this marker, but buried in the same plot, is her husband, my great-grandfather, George Roscoe Oliver Rutherfurd.

Julia died of a stroke on June 30, 1941 in Los Angeles. She was only 46 years old. She died just four months before the wedding of her daughter (and only child) LaVerne Rutherfurd. George lived nearly 20 years after Julia’s death. He died on August 22, 1962 at the age of 67. There has been talk of getting a new headstone that also shows George’s name, but it hasn’t been done yet.

Julia also predeceased her mother, Helen “Nellie” Cecilia O’Hare Barrett. Nellie died on February 9, 1942. She is buried alongside her daughter, in the row just uphill from Julia and George.

This being Los Angeles, Holy Cross Cemetery is also the final resting place for a long list of notables. Others buried here include Sharon Tate, Bela Lugosi, Rita Hayworth, John Candy, Loretta Young, Jimmy Durante, Fred MacMurray, Rosalind Russell and Ricardo Montalbán.

A Poppy for George

George Rutherfurd on his way to France, January 1918

As I walked around San Francisco today, I saw many people wearing small, red poppies clipped to their clothing. The poppies were being handed out to mark Veterans Day (and Remembrance Day, celebrated by those in the British Commonwealth).  I did not know where the tradition of using a poppy to commemorate veterans originated, so I turned to my friend Google and was quickly educated. The poppies are a reference to the flowers that bloomed on the battlefields of France during World War I. They are mentioned specifically in this poem about the battlefields of Flanders written by John McCrae in 1915.

In Flanders Fields

"In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders Fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields."

I thought immediately of my great-grandfather, George Roscoe Oliver Rutherfurd.  He was in France during World War I, serving with the 411th Telegraph Battalion.  Having been a telephone company employee in Los Angeles prior to the war, he was assigned to the 411th and tasked with laying telegraph lines ahead of advancing troops in France. A former member of this battalion, C.H. Moore, later wrote a book entitled, "Memories of the 411th Telegraph Battalion 1917-1919: Here and Over There." I am privileged to own an original copy and will be transcribing its contents and talking in depth about George's military career in later posts.

George Rutherfurd is third from the right in this photo.

In 2004, I traveled with my parents and my Grandma (George's only child) to France, and we drove through the Champagne-Ardenne region of northeastern France, out to the Belgian border, seeing some of the areas where George had been during the war. If you have never been to this part of France, it is sobering. You can feel the weight of history here. One military cemetery after another stretches as far as the eye can see. The town of Verdun, site of a major battle and enormous loss of life during the first World War, has so many war memorials that I lost count of them. In places, the ground is still pocked and misshapen, whether from bombs or trenches I couldn't be sure. To be able to see this landscape with my own eyes inspired me to come home and learn more about George and the war he fought in.

On Veterans Day, I wear a poppy for George, and for all our veterans.  May we remember their service and their sacrifice.  May we also pass their stories down to our children, so they are never forgotten.

Unidentified Photos

I saw my mother last weekend, and she handed me a little bag with two photos inside. She said she'd found them among my grandmother's things after her death. Could I identify the people in the pictures? I took a look and my heart sunk. My Grandma and I spent years going through her photos and family documents, but I immediately knew I'd never seen these portraits. There are few things more heartbreaking to a family historian than having old, original photographs that cannot be identified.

Here's what I know about these photos:

• They came from my maternal grandmother, so they'd be ancestors from my Smith/Murray or Rutherfurd/Dickson lines.

• The male subject has a beard that reminds me of some I've seen in family photos taken around the time of the Civil War, so I'm going to guess we're dealing with ancestors from the late 1800s.

• The frame on the female portrait is labeled "M.W. Carr & Co. Boston."  This company appears to have been in existence from 1894 until 1997, producing jewelry and picture frames.

• A closer examination of the frame reveals a tiny inscription above the stand that appears to read "May 19, 1898."

So, which ancestors would have been living near Boston in 1898? 

My third great-grandfather, Samuel G. Smith, was born in Fitchburg, Massachusetts. However, he had moved to Illinois by 1864, when he married Ellen Partridge in Bunker Hill. All the other Smith ancestors lived in New England much earlier than the late 1800s, by which time they'd gone west.  The Rutherfurds never lived in New England, nor did the Dicksons or Murrays.

I decided to read a little more about M.W. Carr & Co. The book "Commerce, Manufactures & Resources of Boston, Mass: A Historical, Statistical & Descriptive Review" indicates that this company became successful to an extent that its goods were sold throughout the United States and Europe. So, perhaps it is possible that the frame was not purchased in Boston, but elsewhere.

I took a closer look at some of the photos I already have and are definitely identified, to see if there was any resemblance to the mystery photos.  The best candidates are John Bernard Murray and his wife Catherine Daly, and George William Dickson and his wife, Mary Elizabeth Bellangee.

Catherine Daly was born in Massachusetts, but was living in Alameda, California, by the time she married John Murray in 1877. In 1898, John Murray would have been 66 years of age. Catherine Daly would have been 48. I have several original studio photographs of each of them.

  

 

In 1898, George William Dickson would have been 58 years old. His wife, Mary Elizabeth, would have been 54. They were living in Douglas, Wyoming, having come west from Buffalo, New York, via Point Edward, Ontario, about a decade prior to 1989. 

I just have one photo of George, but several of Mary Elizabeth. Looking at them closely, there's a clear resemblance of these photos of Mary Elizabeth to the mystery photo of the woman that I was given. I scanned all of them into Picasa, a photo editing software that I use, and Picasa also seems to recognize the first photo as Mary Elizabeth.

While I can't be sure due to the lack of labeling, I'm fairly confident that the mystery photos are of my third great-grandparents, George William Dickson and Mary Elizabeth Bellangee. 

November 1, 1941: The Smith & Rutherfurd Wedding

November 1 was my maternal grandparents' anniversary. Seventy-two years after their wedding, I'd like to share some details and photos.

LaVerne Rutherfurd and Glenn Smith on their wedding day

Glenn Murray Smith and LaVerne Rutherfurd were married on November 1, 1941 at St. Paul's Catholic Church in Los Angeles. The church is located at 1920 Bronson Avenue in what is now known as the mid-city area.

My grandmother was escorted by her father, George Roscoe Oliver Rutherfurd. Her mother, Julia Ellen Barrett, had passed away unexpectedly on June 30th, 1941, just four months before LaVerne was married. Both of my grandfather's parents, Glenn Alvin Smith and Genevieve Frances Murray, were in attendance.

Glenn and LaVerne with Glenn's parents, Glenn and Genevieve Smith

Glenn and LaVerne with LaVerne's father, George Rutherfurd

This engagement announcement from the local newspaper, published September 20, 1941, gives information about the wedding plans.

...La Verne Rutherfurd, daughter of George R. Rutherfurd and the late Mrs. Rutherfurd, will become the bride of Glenn Murray Smith, son of Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Alvin Smith of 1744 Buckingham Rd.

Nov. 1 is the date for the Smith-Rutherfurd nuptials in St. Paul's Catholic Church with Father Blackwell officiating.

Maid of Honor
Miss Margaret Mary Smith is to be maid of honor and attendants will include Mrs. Frank W. Doherty (Barbara Smith,) sister of the bridegroom, Mrs. John J. Conroy (Florence Allison), Miss Patricia Rutherfurd, Miss Cecile Hallingby and Miss Nancy Massey.

Robert Vaughn will serve as best man and ushers will be Frank W. Doherty, William B. Ross, Dr. William Donahue and Avery Fischer.

The bride-to-be is a Kappa Alpha Theta from the University of Southern California and is a provisional member of the League for Crippled Children. She also attended St. Mary's Academy. The bridegroom-elect is a Phi Kappa Psi from Stanford University.

 

Some additional wedding photos: